Oh, and if you're recovering from an ED - good for you, but this isn't the place for you.
And if you are "suffering" from an ED - follow the recoveries. This isn't a place for "victims".
This is a choice,
not an excuse,
not a spotlight,
not a statement,
and definitely not a disease.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I'm gonna be good

All it took was a night and I'm totally in control. I'm getting better at this.
So, since that (shady) conversation with my boyfriend I have convinced myself that no matter how tonight goes, I'll be happy.
If we stay together: Hurah, I'm with the man I love and I can continue loving him and loving life. But I'll still have a "talk" with him. I'll say something along the lines of "Look, I know you're in college and if at all you feel like you might want to take a break, let me know. I honestly just want you to be happy and I think that above all, we're friends, and we can still be 'special buddies' (wink wink). I love you but I totally understand if you want to just enjoy the college life. Just don't get an STD. And I know I'm going travelling next year which complicates things because I'm not going to expect you to wait for me to come home. But if you want to stick it out, all we can do is take this one step at a time and worry when we have to."
If we break up: I'll be single for my trip to Queens this weekend (Homecoming - hurahhh!). Also started talking to 3 guys since the scare last night. (Kind of like a slutty security blanket) so guarenteed action either way. And I also won't have to deal with the issue when I go away.

I love him, though. I really do.
But I'm going to stick to my down-to-earth realistic self and not go back to who I used to be.
I don't need to overthink this. What happens, happens and all I can do is deal with it.

I'll be back with more thinspo tomorrow.
Have a wonderful night, ladies!


  1. hey thanks for the comment, cheered me up no end :)
    hope thing go okay with the boyf, and like u said if not you have back up guys!
    Its always better to of been in love & lost it, than never to of known what it feels like! well thats what gets me though the cold winter nights anyways haha

  2. you are my savior.
    i emailed you about the whole lab test thingy.

    it sounds like youve got everything that needs to be said incorporated into the speech.
    i hope everything goes well!
    dont forget to update!

    XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

  3. Your giving him all the power in that speech hun. You need to keep a little control in your corner too!
    Enjoy homecoming!

  4. I hope things work out in whatever way you want them to, and whichever way makes YOUR life the happiest, not his...

    my ex boyfriend and I had a similar conversation- we were engaged but he didn't want to "grow up" yet-- he was getting drunk 4-5 times a week and refused to get a job, and eventually I was like, you know what, you just enjoy college life, 'cause I need something more..

    and then I met an incredible guy and eloped with him two weeks after I met him... which is CRAZY and I don't recommend, but it was the best decision of my life!

  5. it feels good to have control.
    it sounds like your doing okay though, good for you for saying that, or preparing yourself to say that, at least you have some idea of what your doing,
    the "just don't get an STD" bit made me smile though, I'm sure it wasn't supposed to haha,
    I hope your okay.