Oh, and if you're recovering from an ED - good for you, but this isn't the place for you.
And if you are "suffering" from an ED - follow the recoveries. This isn't a place for "victims".
This is a choice,
not an excuse,
not a spotlight,
not a statement,
and definitely not a disease.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Last Game

Since I was 13, I've been a part-time bulimic/anorexic. I say part-time because throughout those earlier years, I surrendered to these habits solely while staring into the glaring eyes and snarling faces of schedules and responsibilities and hormones and growing up. I was staring at my lack of control.
There are many reasons people (especially females) practice eating disorders. I hate the preordained notion that every individual "suffering" from an eating disorder is in search of help or recognition. Yes, it's the main reason. No, it's not the only one.

First off, let me tell you that I have been brought up in a healthy environment with a supportive family and great friends. I am confident; I play sports, I graduated high school with an 88% average, I volunteer, I party, I work. I'm balanced. Bulimia and anorexia are my choice.

So, don't go fooling yourselves. Eating disorders are not diseases. They are not even "disorders" which, according to the Online Princeton Dictionary is, "a physical condition in which there is a disturbance of normal functioning". What is normal? In my opinion, my eating disorder is the equivalent of your smoking a blunt between classes or visiting a strip club after work or your private collection of porn or your exercise and sport you push so hard in. Point is, it's a release. It's a secret. It's something that is mine. Something I don't have to share or talk about. Something I'm secure with. It makes me feel in control of myself.

So stop judging and start reading.
And you're here to read why it's different from what textbooks and reality television shows tell you.
Currently: 18 years old, 5 4", 59 kg/130 lbs, BMI = 22.3
Currently: healthy

1 comment:

  1. BTW, geniouse on the blog name part! :) (Im not very creative as u can c.. "Behind the Fat"??!! really? thats the best i cud come up with.. :)